OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
