Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
soo... how was my night?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
