ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize