His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
