Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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