i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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