I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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