Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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