Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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