2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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