i just had sex bonerless
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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