im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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