1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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