when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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