I'm really into asian looking animals
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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