i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
