Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
