is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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