Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
bring money and cleavage
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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