I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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