and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
