Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize