6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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