pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize