I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
