he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
