dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
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