I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
