omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
