going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
