she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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