so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Randomize
