I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
