I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
