So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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