You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
