You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
