I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
