He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize