I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Randomize
