The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
