just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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