Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
