Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize