Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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