So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
