it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
