All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So much Jack, so little girl.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
