had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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