my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
