Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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