he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
tequila makes me forget i have legs
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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