if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
