How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
