a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
