he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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