ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
